Monday, February 25, 2013

Beauty

Amazing how my definition or perception of beauty has changed from when I was in my twenties. Now that I'm in my thirties, I see beauty in a totally different light. I’m sure it will continue to change as I evolve, mature and become more seasoned, but this is where I am right now, so I welcome the outlook. Honestly, when I think about what I thought was beauty back then, it makes me cringe because it's actually rather grotesque. Not grotesque in a way that speaks negatively about the people as objects but grotesque in regards to social and media stream's intent to dictate and mislead us into thinking that their beauty is or should be our definition or epitome of beauty. They removed the innocence that is usually embedded in true beauty and all too often, just as I did, our young girls accept it and then look upon themselves with shameful eyes. What a blind robbery of their youth!...and, yet, they don't even know they are being robbed of years in celebrating who they are during their emerging stages of life.

Now that I am in my thirties, I seem to always have a passionate love/hate affair with food and everyday stressors of being a working mom and beauty, for me, has been redefined. Beauty is the curves along my backside and hips; it is the one eye that I managed to line with eyeliner in the morning, but with the busyness of a morning routine with my 5 year old, I forgot to line the other. Beauty is the stubborn cellulite that won’t go away no matter how many miles I walk or jog per week or how many ounces of water I drink per day! It tells me I'm healthy, I’m normal and best of all, I'm HAPPY. Beauty is the look I have when I open my eyes in the morning with an out of place ponytail in the back of my head and no makeup except my inherently black under eye circles. That's beauty. That's beauty because that is real. It’s relatable. It became relieving...once I accepted it.

Beauty is my tiny waist and big hips that never seem proportioned in the industries' pair of jeans that align to social and media standards of beauty. I'm sorry, but I would like one pair of jeans that I can purchase and not have to deal with 3-4 inches gap in the rear because designers have not figured out that all women whether black, white, Latina, etc. are ALL shapely these days. Beauty is confidence. Beauty is intelligence and knowing how to articulate your wants and needs in the workplace or at home. Beauty is telling my daughter everyday that she's beautiful because of her heart and kindness towards others. Now, I understand the good ole saying that I used to hear as a child growing up in the South and consistently recite to my own daughter and that is: "Pretty is as Pretty Does". Beauty is what you do more than who you are or what you look like. A pretty face + an ugly attitude and heart = ugly/disadvantage. Something I've learned over the years is that beauty has its place in the workplace, especially if you are a woman. It can either attract people towards you or deter them and force them to run in the opposite direction when they see you coming down the hallway. Now, measure that for leadership effectiveness, why don’t you?

Recently, I visited a traveling art exhibit called "Posing Beauty" at the Figge Art Museum with my five year old daughter. I was grateful we went, but even more grateful that she could learn, observe and experience the creation of a dividing line separating beauty from hype, fact from fiction, glory from...well, the imposter. The photography showed me how internal beauty and confidence is actually captured in photo, whether we know it or not and whether we want to believe it or not. Even in still photography, people can see empowerment in your eyes or they can identify when you are allowing life to take control of you. What is the legacy you want to leave behind when your children or grandchildren look at your photos? I challenge you to stop and think about that for a moment. Walk away from this blog (just for a minute), pull out a recent photo and examine it. What does it say? If this was the last photo seen, what legacy would you be leaving behind? A legacy of strength, compassion and empowerment or one of weakness, bitterness and servitude?

I will leave you with this: I remember when I was a teenager, standing in line at the grocery store with my mom in Louisiana and I came across an interview with Selma Hayek. Her words were profound and forced me to reflect upon beauty then (as it does now). She said, “People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.” ~ Selma Hayek

Oh yeah, one final thought. I've been so inspired by this that I want to capture my beauty, as it is today, and have scheduled time with a professional artist to create an oil painting of me, celebrating MY SPLENDOR! Hopefully, it will be a healthy reminder for my beautiful daughter to never skip a day in celebrating her inner beauty, appreciating and embracing her body and owning her legacy….

Beautifully Yours,
Chanda

No comments:

Post a Comment