Day #5 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness before I turned 40: To Make a Difference and Live a Life of Significance

Thanks for joining me for Day #5 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness:

I was encouraged along the way by the stories of paid-off Christmas layaways for strangers and a Starbucks where for three hours, each and every person paid for the person behind them in the drive through line.  (Talk about contagious kindness!) This was such an incredible retail challenge for the cashiers that Starbucks now has developed a procedure to handle these random acts of kindness.  What a wonderful problem to have and have to countermeasure! I also absolutely love the Liberty Mutual commercials.  These are the ones where people choose to help strangers.  I have attached a link to one of my favorites.  http://youtu.be/9UrSvzVnCA0 This is the essence of random acts of kindness.  They do not have to be elaborate or expensive.  They only have to be meaningful.  Facebook even has a page for Random Acts of Kindness. 

Once you began these acts of kindness intentionally, these stories are everywhere.  I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter; I had never seen so many pregnant women in all my life.  I think that this has a similar effect.  If you only see the negative or the bad news, negative is what permeates.   When you begin to focus on the positives, encouragement is everywhere.   It will make you look at the world and the people in it in an entirely different way. 

Some great stories that inspired me

http://www.1millionacts.com.au/home

http://www.redrobin.com/about/unbridled-acts

http://www.pantagraph.com/news/starbucks-customers-pay-it-backward/article_37448662-8e1c-503e-95e0-514ea5e40acd.html

http://fox4kc.com/2012/08/06/kcmo-teen-buys-other-peoples-grocery-gas/

http://www.tullahomanews.com/?p=10869

I love that companies now recognize that this emotional connection is so important.  Connecting with people and the “why” is just as critical as the “what” or “how” they do what they do.  This connection is important for their customers and for their employees.  We must look deeper and do more as leaders to connect with people.  This is the “Why” that Simon Sinek speaks to in his TEDtalks and his book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek.  When we connect with people on a different level, we can truly inspire and make a difference.  This is significant and this is significance.  http://youtu.be/qp0HIF3SfI4

Well, I met my goal of forty random acts of kindness before I turned forty.  I was intentional and had a lot of help from my friends and family with ideas.  Some even encouraged me by doing random acts along with me.  I found that kindness is contagious and so very easy.  I loved the excitement and interest in this challenge.  It was a feeling I had never previously known.  I did feel significant.  I loved the looks on people’s faces.  I also loved knowing that some of the recipients of my acts I would never even meet or know.  The best part or biggest reward of this entire experience has not been how much I gave or did but by the feeling I got by doing this.  I received so much more than I gave.  The conversations it started gave me real joy.  And the “pay it forward” opportunities were exponential.  I had so many of the recipients tell me that they were going to do something for someone else.  I was intentional and I wanted to have significance.  When I turned forty, I intentionally embraced it and it was far more significant that I could have dreamed!  When my birthday finally came, I was surrounded by family and friends and felt loved and blessed.  I met my goal.  My priorities were clear and I was aware and intentional.  I conquered it by aligning my values and goals with my actions.  Also, I did not stop at forty.  I cannot bring myself to delete the app with my notes for (RAK).  I am now currently up to 54 and counting.  I also certainly do not feel as though I have reached the summit of the “hill”.  I am still climbing.  But I will admit that I prefer the view from up this high.  It is so much clearer. 

So what now? The quote I included at the top is, “Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has” by Margaret Mead.  This quote is relevant as it is true.   If you commit with intention and follow through, anything is possible.  I challenge you to do the same.   Random Acts of Kindness week is officially February 11-17, 2013. You can do them anytime not just this week.  But once you start, I warn you that it is difficult to stop.  I encourage you to participate.  Be kind and look for opportunities to help people, even strangers.  The reward is worth the effort, I promise.  Faith in humanity is restored.  

 “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.”  Dr. Seuss

~Christy Brasher, guest blogger

Day#4 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness before I turned 40: To Make a Difference and Live a Life of Significance

Welcome to Day #4 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness with Christy Brasher:  

 One opportunity came when I went out to lunch one day and stopped and got gasoline (multi tasking as a single mom).  This one happens to be a combination convenience store with a local sub sandwich shop in it.  I stood in line and made my selection.  When I got to the register, the truck driver in front of me was having a conversation with the cashier about his gift card.  She was explaining to him that it was not valid at this location due to ownership policy.  I interrupted and said to just add his to mine and I paid for both.  He looked at me mouth agape stunned (I found that this was a common reaction when strangers do something nice or unexpected).  It took him a minute to realize that I had just bought his lunch.  People expect rudeness or ridicule.  They do not expect kindness.  When we were walking to fill up our drinks, he offered me the gift card as repayment.  I politely refused his offer and told him to use it another time or give it to someone else that he thought needed it.   He said that he would.   This was a great feeling because it was so unexpected and spontaneous.  This is how many of the forty happened, completely by random. 

One more area of kindness acts I classified as inspirational.  I had made some wonderful friends in Chicago.  One of my new friends told me that I inspired him to write and play music again.  I questioned whether this qualified as an act and whether it counted toward my goal.  He said that it did in his book.  I didn’t argue with people when they told me whatever I did should count toward my goal.  But, I did look this up on the Random Acts of Kindness web page (http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/) to see if this “counted” and I found that it does.  This site has some great ideas if you need inspiration.   I also inspired someone to go back and finish their college degree.  I inspired a friend to take a leap and change career paths.  I helped a colleague with a very challenging situation at work and found a win-win solution.   I cheered up my best friend after a horrible Monday by listening and having margaritas.  I championed a mentor program for my work.  These acts were giving of my time, encouragement, or expertise and apparently, after a little research, they do count.  

Some of my acts of kindness were monetary or tangible.  I sponsored a female pit bull to receive veterinary care after being rescued from a dog-fighting ring.  I sponsored a coworker’s little girl for a triathlon in which she took first place in her age division.  She felt very special to be sponsored like “real” adult athletes.  I donated clothes and household items to a domestic violence shelter.  I gave a donation to the Habitat for Humanity Women Build for a single mom building a house in Nashville, Tennessee.  I put a few small dollar amount gift cards on windshield wipers in the parking lot of a grocery store on cars that had infant or car seats in them.  I put dollar coins in every vending machine in my break area at work.  I donated to the Salvation Army.  An amazing thing happened when my friends knew about my goal.   I had two of my birthday gifts to be donations in my name.  One to the Habitat for Humanity Women Build and another to an organization that helps provide training to women in third world nations to learn a trade so that they can escape prostitution and poverty.  These were the best gifts that I received for my birthday, by far. 

                Believing in people, helping them achieve their goals, and inspiring people was an amazing way to realize my goal of forty.  These acts of kindness have the most lasting effects.  They are the essence of the Maya Angelou quote, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

Join me tomorrow for the final day of 40 Random Acts of Kindness.

~Christy Brasher, Guest Blogger

Day #3 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness before I turned 40: To Make a Difference and Live a Life of Significance

Welcome Back for Day #3 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness:  

My favorite of the forty random acts of kindness happened in the Nashville International Airport.  I was flying to Chicago for my Women’s Unlimited workshop session and had arrived at the airport to find that my flight was delayed.  I decided to go to my favorite airport waiting place, Tootsies.  For those not familiar with Tootsies, it is a bar in Nashville, Tennessee on 422 Broadway.  The airport has a replica of the Tootsie’s Orchid Bar theme and even has a live country music singer there most of the time.  The singer was playing guitar, and it happened to be one of my favorite songs.  There was an elderly couple sitting next to me in the bar and they were very sweet. They were easily in their nineties.  He was drinking a beer, she was picking at a sandwich, and they were both very into the music.  He was tapping his feet and she was moving in her chair to the beat.  They were adorable.  He was wearing a black trucker WWII veteran’s hat with several pins of distinction on it.  This was perfect.  I decided to go to our server and pay for their lunch.  It was close to Veteran’s Day and this was a great opportunity.  I explained to the server that I wanted to pay their tab and her tip.  I told her that when he asked for the bill to explain that his bill had been paid and to thank him for his service.  She gave me the same look to which I was beginning to be accustomed but was very excited to be part of my plot.  It was all set!  I was so excited.  I tried to read my Kindle and appear engaged in my Smartphone.  When he finally asked for his bill, the waitress smiled and took great joy in repeating my request to them.  She told him, thank you for your service.  Puzzled, they begin to look around the restaurant trying to determine who had done this.  I intently and nonchalantly read through my phone messages.  I could overhear them speaking and they began to say to each other about “how nice it was of someone to do this”.  I thought to myself, “It worked”!  Inside I was gleefully thinking about how slick I was when suddenly the wife leaned over to me and said, “You did this, didn’t you?”  Oh no, I was caught!  I lowered my head and said that yes I had but that I didn’t want them to know it was me.  I explained to them that I was turning forty and wanted to do forty nice things or random acts of kindness before I turn forty.  I then began to cry.  I can’t exactly explain why I was crying in the Nashville airport in a Tootsies restaurant bar to an elderly couple, that I didn’t know, but I was.  He looked at me with his weather face, smiled, and thanked me.  Then he said matter-of-factly, “Well, don’t you want to know our story?”  I said that I would love to know their story! He began by taking off his hat and explaining the pins on it, showing me his division.  Certain divisions meant that he was a “flyboy” or pilot in World War II.  He had been stationed in Europe during the war.  This man sitting in front of me had flown 37 bombing missions in Germany against the Nazis and successfully returned home to his bride.  He explained that they had gotten married right before he left for war and that they were about to celebrate 68 years of marriage.  They had been married in November of 1944.  He reached over and began to hold her hand.  Now, I was crying for a different reason.  They talked about how they now lived in Seattle and were traveling to Germany and to the area that he had been stationed all those years ago.  We then talked about how nice the city of Nashville was and how much they loved the music.  I was amazed at their love story and his service for our nation.  They loved my act of kindness and said that it helped them feel better because they were weary from a long day of traveling.  The wife said that she was touched and that she would find a way to do the same for someone else.  She also assured me that even though I was not anonymous, it still counted toward my forty acts of kindness goal.  I left again smiling and beaming.  I never got their name and they never asked for mine but my life was touched by this random encounter.   I received so much more than I gave. 

This goal of mine began to also bleed over into my work.  And I found something else.  When I began to tell my friends and accountability partners about what I was doing they began to do random acts with me.  It was spreading.  Kindness is contagious!  Tomorrow I will tell you about how my intentional goal of significance through kindness began to impact my life, my work, and my results in a positive way. 

Check back tomorrow for Day #4 of 40 Random Acts of Kindness.

~Christy Brasher, Guest Blogger

Setting Priorities

It was a typical Sunday evening.   The kids were finished playing outside with their friends and we just sat down at the table for dinner.  I had asked each of my kids if they had fun today playing with their friends.   My daughter answers, “Mommy, I had fun with my friends today but I would much rather have played soccer outside with you.  How come we don’t ever get a chance to play together?”  Wow this hit me like a ton of bricks.  When I stopped to think about it, she was right.  It had been a really long time since I had played with the kids.  Part of it was the fact that usually I am doing laundry, dishes, making dinner, etc., but the other part of it was that I assumed she would rather play with her friends than with me. 

It was obvious we had a disconnect somewhere.   Since we were all together I decided to use that time to talk about and write down a list of what each of us valued and viewed important.  Since I knew my daughter obviously wanted to spend more time with me, I knew that I had to make a drastic change with how I was spending my time and what I was spending my time on. So I asked myself these questions:

1.   Do the choices I make align with what I value?

2.   Will making this choice help me to honor my priorities?

3.   Do I have ultimate control over this choice?

By doing this it helped me focus my time and attention on the important things. 

I also took this concept and applied it at work.  I identified what projects were priorities and was I spending my time on those?   What was getting in the way of spending time on those projects? I met with my manager to make sure my priorities aligned with his goals and objective as well as the company’s goals and objectives.  I also blocked off time on my calendar each morning to identify what I was going to focus my attention on that day.  I found by doing that, it helped me stay focused as each of you know how easily, and how often, distractions occur.   

That was 5 months ago.  What I have found was that by adjusting my efforts and focusing on what was important, I am able to drive results that are more meaningful.  And by reviewing these priorities every so often, it allows me to make adjustments where necessary, as priorities will change.

At home, I feel like we have spent more quality time together as a family.  Initially I didn't think I would be able to find that time, and I’ll admit, the house isn’t as picked up, the laundry and dishes do pile up, but those things, to me, aren’t really that important.  There will always be time for laundry and dishes but time with the kids is limited as I know their priorities of spending time with Mom and Dad will change as they get older. 

So I challenge you to try this.  You might be surprised what you find out.

~Lori